‘Hoser’ Lager-Ale Bastard by Firehall Brewery 

Oh, hey hoser! A Lager-Ale Bastard something-or-other? Well why not eh? 


The only Canadian stereotype that bugs me is the Tim Hortons one. Tim Hortons is some of the absolute worst available commercial coffee. Even McDonald’s has better coffee. You know you really suck if McDonald’s is handily beating you. 

Insensitive jerks.

Of course, Molson Canadian is also awful. I don’t even really need to mention that one. Real Canadians don’t let Canadians drink Molson. There are far more, far better options for getting trashed on cheapness. Here is a list of things I’d drink before a Molson Canadian: 

  • Budweiser 
  • Stella Artois 
  • Plasma
  • Kronenberg 
  • Rickard’s 
  • Sam Adams
  • My own pee 
  • Labatt Blue
  • Your pee
  • Virtually any liquid that won’t kill me outright 

Praying it stays sealed.

So, what’s with the Bad Tattoo Brewing bottle cap? You aren’t Bad Tattoo! Hoping someone that works there can shed some light on that, if they managed to wade through my dumb rants. 

The pour is a slightly opaque sunshine amber with just a little fizz on top that gave way to a mighty collar. 

The smells are savory and chill. Banana bread, stone fruit, and some light herbal hopping. Smells like a CRUSHER! 

The tastes are sharper than the nose but quite similar overall. Banana bread, melon, honeydew and a sharp herbal hopping. This is a crushable hot summer day drinker. 

The mouthfeel is light bodied, crisp and refreshing, with good hearty carbonation to back it up. The flavors wash the palate pretty evenly, leaving the banana and herbals behind. Slightly sticky residue on the tongue, which I found strange. 

3.5/5 A straightforward, summer crusher. Not really a whole lot to talk about here. This is an everymans beer, so just about any beer drinker could find something to appreciate here. This is how ‘regular’ beer should taste! Much better than my own pee. 

*slips* sorry for mooseing incorrectly!

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