‘Tyrannosaurus Gruit’ by Beau’s All Natural Brewing Co

So in Jurassic Park, the velociraptors can open doors, the triceratops can play scrabble, and the Tyrannosaurus Rex can determine investment strategies in the fluctuating housing market. Also, he apparently can’t see things unless they move. Completely realistic. 

Tiny Brontosauruses that have all 50 state capitals memorized.

So apparently a Gruit beer is a beer made with fruits and such instead of hops, which I’m pretty sure disqualifies it from being a Craft Beer and just threw my entire rasion d’etre out the window. If I’m not reviewing a Craft Beer… What am I!? 

My very existence hurts.

Love the custom bottles these guys have, with the raised up logo and such. They feel more solid too, like they are higher quality than the ones I’m used to. I’m kind of a sucker for cool bottles and artwork, as my usual readers are undoubtedly sick of hearing. I’m just saying, put your beer in a cool bottle and I’ll probably buy it at least once unless it’s Molson Canadian. I wouldn’t even give that crap to a bum, that’s just mean. 

That’s really mean, John.

The pour is a crystal clear cherry red with a half finger of fizzy pink head that immediately waned to a very small collar, leaving no lacing behind. 

The smells are SO WEIRD. Beets, raspberries, blackberry, and woodsy resin… Goddamn that’s unlike anything I’ve ever smelt in a beer. Beets? Dafuq. 

The tastes are mild, fruity and very peculiar. Beets(what in the shit?), strange berries, black pepper, cork (???), minty forest notes and a lingering heat on the finish. I don’t even know. This beer is wacky. Drinkable… Kinda, but fucking wacky. 

The mouthfeel is light bodied and a bit watery, with barely-there carbonation. Flavors drape mid palate and quickly dissipate, leaving the woodsy mint and pepper heat in their wake. 

3/5 This might be the weirdest beer I’ve ever had, but then, it is my first Gruit beer ever. I don’t really like it that much, but I think that’s mostly personal taste. I did manage to finish it, for what it’s worth. It’s definitely unique, so if you are down with that you should try it out. I’ll pass in the future in favour of their other selections. It was just plain confusing. 

Highly confusing.