Fat Tug by Driftwood Brewing

HOLY MOTHER OF ALL TITS

What can be said about this wonderful beer that hasn’t already been said?
This might be better than sex.
I’ll trade my left testicle for another pint.
It could make Putin smile.
It could make Rosie O’Donnell seem less beastly.
It just moved… You know what I mean…

‘Fat tug’ is quite possibility (nearly, maybe, virtually, almost, more synonyms) the BEST IPA I’ve ever had. I think they only sell it in these big bottles which is too bad because now I have to become an alcoholic. Really though, I only needed a gentle tap to get in to alcoholic territory anyhow. It’s not your fault Tug, it was an inevitability. I forgive you, dry your tears.

This beauty pours an exquisite clear, amber with a reddish tint. It has a lasting dull white foamy head to it that wanes over time in to a decent lacing that never fully disappears. It smells like a wild collision of herbs and fruits; a fruit salad orgy of sorts. I get grapefruit, melon, lemon and probably about ten other berries and fruits that all equate to an overall intoxicating aroma.

Now on to the actual intoxication… I mean review.. heh.

It’s hard to put in to words how scrumptious this is. There may not be enough descriptors to accurately depict how glorious this tastes. I’ll get my thesaurus out and take a crack at it. My phone attempts to capitalize the word ‘crack’… That’s peculiar.

Mmmm OK. Tastes of grapefruit (no surprise there), melon, lemon, sweet grass with a good earthy tone overall. It’s a bit strong, and I wager that might turn off some people, but it’s worth trudging on because more characteristics come to the forefront the more used to hops your palate gets. There’s a beautiful earthy, wheat and caramel malt backbone that holds down the whole hop explosion. It’s perfectly balanced. You have to dig to get it, but OH LAWD it’s worth it.

Do yourself a favor. Try this beer if you haven’t already. Why are you still here?!

FLY YOU FOOLS!

4.5/5 ALMOST PERFECT. Produce it in cases and I’ll die happy… and blasted.